Making Peace with Your Past: A Journey of Positivity and Growth

Making Peace with your past Making Peace With Your Past; this really is a subject that many people have a hard time with. I had a very very very hard time with this, but I have to tell you, making peace with your past is so good. How I Made peace with my Past Well, I would be lying if I said it was easy. I often found myself in the same situations and problems all the time. Once those problems would arise I would get mad and start thinking of how I would really show those people and situations who is boss. But one day, I asked myself, “how can I show those people who is boss, if I keep doing things the same way?” I realized I had to do something different, so I started going to therapy. Boy was that eye opening! When talking with my therapist, she would often ask questions about my past. And when she would ask; I would give answers and responses like it was still happening. the same anger I felt at that time, I would still feel it while talking in the present. I used to think that since I was holding onto the pain, it would help me ensure it doesn’t happen again. Again, wrong! I would still be in the same situations but this time, more angry and bitter than before. I didn’t like that feeling and after some time I realized it was time to make peace. While my upbringing was great, it wasn’t perfect. I was mad that my parents didn’t do what other parents did for their children with me, I was mad at how some of my past friends treated me, and I was mad at just so much stupid stuff (I can say that now, but back then it didn’t feel like that). the realization Now, childhood trauma as many call it, takes work to get through. But I remember my therapist and I were talking one day. I was complaining about something from my childhood and she said “if you were your parents' at the time, what do you think you would do?” I honestly didn’t have an answer, I just kept thinking about it. When I say kept thinking about it, I mean that one question consumed me. For one, I can’t imagine what my parents’ have overcome. My parents are immigrants and I am the first generation in the United States. I couldn’t imagine leaving one country and coming to another not knowing their customs. That must be hard. I also thought about having a child in another country, not only are you learning with your child about the culture but you are leaving behind all that you know. They are just doing the best you can. And when I thought about it, I began to cry for many days. I realized how ungrateful I was being. Again, my parents aren’t perfect but they truly did their best! My parents sent me to private school when I was younger before moving me to the suburbs as a teenager. I never had to worry about food, clothing, or shelter with my parents. I even got a car when I got my license as a teenager.

Making Peace with your pastCOMPARISON CAN STEAL YOUR JOY . The problem was, I kept comparing myself to other children whose families have been here for generations. I kept complaining about how I had student loans and other children didn’t because their parents paid for them. And it made me realize I wasn’t seeing them as people. Before they became my parents, they were people. People make mistakes including our parents. While it is so easy to put them on a pedestal they are people. I have to tell you making peace with my childhood, not only benefited my relationship with my parents but it also helped me with many other relationships. I now look at people as people instead of Jesus. Jesus was perfect but people are not him, therefore they will make mistakes. My past friends, I forgave them because guess what? We were all young and didn’t know anything. So why should I be mad at something someone did to me 10 years ago? I’m still alive and that person didn’t know any better. Can you imagine someone still being mad at you for something you did as a 5 year old? It would be silly right. Now I’m in no way saying, you shouldn’t have boundaries but I’m saying forgive these people. They didn’t know better and many are truly doing the best they can. The power of forgiveness . This was extremely hard. Of course, I would always want others to forgive me but forgiving others…no way. Going through this journey of growing, I also put God in the center of my life. Now if you don’t know, God forgives us for all our mistakes and sins. We are all his children, and because of that, you have to forgive others. But if you were like me, you would say, “but you don’t know what this person did to me, I can’t just forgive them.” Well do I have news for you; they also deserve forgiveness. And honestly they do. I remember I had a friend who I felt didn’t deserve my forgiveness and when I say anytime someone would mention this friend, I would remember everything they did and how I wished them unhappiness. Like girl, you really don’t think that person deserves forgiveness and happiness? It took me a long time to forgive them and when I did, it was so freeing. Not only did I make my life better but I thought about it, if I’m saying this person doesn’t deserve happiness, will everyone I wrong think I also don’t deserve happiness or forgiveness?

Making Peace with your past We are all people and deserve happiness, love, and peace. In forgiving this person also, we were able to become friends again. Not only have we become friends again, but we have been able to work on our journey in Christ together. Learning to forgive . All this from making peace with my past. While not every friend from my past has received this treatment, I have forgiven everyone who I felt has does me wrong in the past. It is now so easy for me to let go of someone “doing me wrong” because they are people. Making peace with my past also taught me a lot about myself. I didn’t have healthy boundaries with people all the time. I used to allow people to walk all over me and then get mad that they walked all over me. I also had to forgive myself because I also didn’t treat myself well. PEACe . Having this peace truly is amazing. Not only do I notice that I’m not stressed but I realize how silly it was for me to be bitter and angry. Just as an example of how silly it is, I will share a story with you of someone I know . This person had a very hard childhood, they were abused by their parents’ verbally and physically. They were able to attempt to make some small reconciliations before their parent passed, but they still have not forgiven them. When talking to them one day, I asked them how they were doing. Immediately they told me about how much they hate that parent and how hard life was because of them. Now I don’t know how it would feel to be abused by someone you love, especially a parent, I still believe everyone deserves forgiveness. This parent has now been dead 35 years and they still harbor these horrible feelings toward them. And because of that, they are still in the same place they were when the parent died. They are not able to make positive changes in their life because they still hold onto that bitterness . I really don’t want to be in the same spot in life, and I realized when I was holding onto that bitterness and anger, I was just like them. I wasn’t able to move on and experience life because I was so stuck . I say this to say, don’t get stuck on being bitter and angry. Focus on being the best version of yourself, that version of yourself includes being a forgiving person, because many forgiving people are not bitter, they understand that life happens and it gets better when you have peace

What Are Ways You Are Making Peace With Your Past?

EPIK SMILES